THE FAILURE OF GLADIATOR II
Reunion Newsletter [11.22.24]
What went wrong with new Gladiator?
Before that, some respect to the master. New Gladiator definitely ruined my day yesterday, I’m still very happy Ridley Scott is making things like this, and hope he continues. I’d take this new Gladiator movie a thousand times over Fede Alvarez Alien content.
Very bad script. They did the Force Awakens thing where they remake the original plot beats, replace with new characters and references to the original’s events rather than the mythology of the original. Two issues. First, they did that until middle of act two, then started to sorta split the difference. By act three, they went into Dark Knight Rises nonsense grandiosity (maximalism? HA!) territory and the movie lost all resemblance to the original as well as any story it was trying to tell. Like how Game of Thrones shot past the source material and tried to cover zero story logic with maximalist nonsense. So not only did they write a barely half way cohesive script, but they captured none of the essence of what made OG Gladiator excellent and memorable. OG Gladiator not only has an excellent structured story, but massive visuals that became iconic, ten lines of dialogue movie fans quote (and two or three that non-movie fans quote without even realizing it’s from this movie), and legendary character performances. The approach to this one seemed to be…replicate the OG…then go bigger with set pieces (even if they all just halt abruptly without making any sense)…and uh like yeah just cast Denzel and let him do a lot.
I would lose my breath trying to explain the third act of this movie. It was dizzying. I fell asleep. It was so confoundingly boring. And the set pieces were so strange, like they just decided they’d played these scenes enough, and ok let’s wrap up.
Read my full thoughts below.
Also, woah, new Kendrick. Three tracks in. WOW.
The Wicked interviews are wild. I recognize I don’t understand these people. But I can’t imagine what it is I don’t get. It all looks dystopian end of days kinda stuff. Is this not Hunger Games IRL? They aren’t scary to little girls? They’re so weird. The bones and the outfits and the strangely over the top awkwardly placed sincerity. This isn’t nightmare fuel for kids? What am I missing? I shouldn’t talk because I still think heroin chic 90s was cool, and I really don’t just want to do the body image shaming thing, but, what is going on with the health of these people? Are they ok?
Meanwhile, the Denzel press has been incredible. An unexpected gift of the internet is compiling all of these press runs. Like back in the day, we’d hear one wild quote from one article and that would be it. Now, when an actor is in a mood and wants to dish, we can watch everything in a row and get the whole breadth of whatever they are experiencing and expressing. Like Dakota Johnson last year, it was so much fun to hear everything she had to say. Denzel has been truly scorched earth like he’s won all the Oscars he’ll ever need and his kids are established and he can genuinely make Marvel movies for fun and money and say so and not worry in the slightest about backlash. He’s been so lovely.
— Sean Glass @sdotglass
UPCOMING REUNION EVENTS
TONIGHT: WIP Silent Partner @ Neuehouse
Nov 23 The Black Sea @ Metrograph
Nov 25 Mediha @ Neuehouse
I canceled shorts night honestly just because I’m done, enough haha, I’m gonna start cooking.
NEWS
The important stuff on the important stuff. TL;DR + links if you want more.
Pressman Film Sees Nice Haul For Development Slate On Popular Investment Platform Republic [Deadline] Some great news for Pressman Film! Revisit SG’s interview with Sam Pressman below!
COMMUNITY IS EVIL
Buncha stuff this week. New Cuaron. New Smile. Menendez. Penguin. Anora. Thoughts on all below. I still have not gotten around to finishing the Joker 2 piece, because b2b fests still, and more and more events constantly. Just haven’t had computer time beyond the random writings you’ll read here. If you want though, my IG rant yesterday is basically the
Neon, UFO Select Miss Juneteenth Director Channing Godfrey Peoples for Second Feature Development Residency [Variety]
Sebastian Stan’s Variety ‘Actors on Actors’ Halted Because No Other Talent Wants to Talk About Trump [IndieWire] Surprised they couldn’t Trojan horse this discussion if he was highlighted for his excellent work in A Different Man. Paul Walter Hauser weighs in as well.
The Substance Set To Soar Past $70M+: How MUBI Fueled Demi Moore’s Comeback At The Global Box Office [Deadline] Great news for MUBI and their evolving place in the film industry.
Cillian Murphy and wife Yvonne McGuinness buy Dingle’s historic Phoenix cinema [Independent] This week’s wholesome news: Cillian Murphy and his wife Yvonne have rescued a historic movie theater and dance hall, allowing the theater to reopen to the public and remain independent. It’s the only movie theater for 30 miles!
Wild Penske headlines:
On the Scene at the Controversial Rust World Premiere at Camerimage: ‘That Is a Terrible Question’ [IndieWire]
Surprise Kendrick Lamar album drop [GNX]
SUBSTACK RECOMMENDATIONS:
Here is Carlos Dengler, FKA Carlos D of Interpol, talking about Nostalgia Concerts
WATCH
Gladiator II [wide] Read some of Sean’s thoughts below! The true highlight is Denzel doing his thing during the marketing campaign. More examples.
Wicked [wide] Hilarious that the marketing is hiding this being only Part I.
The Black Sea, w/ filmmakers Crystal Moselle and Derrick B. Harden in person + Pop-up Cafe. [Metrograph]
Sundance award-winner, Porcelain War, w/ filmmakers in person [IFC]
Never Look Away, w/ Lucy Lawless in person [IFC]
Ernest Cole: Lost and Found, w/ Raoul Peck in person [IFC]
Sabbath Queen, w/ filmmaker in person [IFC]
Hong Sangsoo’s A Traveler’s Needs [Film Linc + Film Forum]
Once More With Ealing series [Film Forum]
NOV 27: The Seed of the Sacred Fig [Film Forum]
DEC 1: MoMI’s Annual Curator’s Choice series, featuring a selection of the year’s best films—including another chance to see Dune Part II in 70mm! [MoMI]
DEC 7: See It Big: Let It Snow series, featuring The Thing, The Shining, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, The Empire Strikes Back, Superman II, and more! [MoMI]
DEC 7-22: Black Christmas 50th anniversary screenings.
DEC 11-19: Robert Siodmak: Dark Visionary series [Film Linc]
JAN 3: SE7EN returns to theaters in IMAX for its 30th anniversary.
STREAMING
Street Trash remake on [VOD]
In honor of its release, here’s a good list of Melt Movies.
Lisandro Alonso’s Eureka on [VOD]
Alien Romulus on [Hulu] Where it belongs.
Blitz on [Apple TV+] I hear I don’t need to watch this.
The Piano Lesson on [Netflix] I will absolutely not watch this.
Surveilled with Ronan Farrow on [MAX] One of those movies I can read a logline for and feel like I’ve gotten enough.
Death Proof on [Prime]
DEC 11: The Bibi Files on [Jolt] Watched this and my criticism is more on the movie aspect than the political aspect. There are many things to criticize this man for, but did I really need 30 minutes of screen time dedicated to learning he gave Israel’s most successful film producer of all time preferential treatment on a visa and tax rebates in exchange for champagne and cigars? I could not care any less. And another 30 minutes to tell us that the government tries to influence the press. Why do these movies exist and why does the press hype them up as earth shaking? Movies can be earth shaking. Movies can change culture and civilization. But words matter, stop calling mediocre movies masterpieces and stop calling every documentary the most important thing ever.
ON OUR MIND
WATCH: Gorgeous Volvo commercial from cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema.
CC40 box set from Criterion Collection.
Help donate to [Cinephilia & Beyond]!
READ: There’s More to the Longlegs Hair and Makeup Than Just Nicholas Cage’s Creepy Title Character— a chat with Hair stylist Kristin Chaar and makeup artist Madelaine Hermans [IndieWire]
The Penguin makeup BTS.
I vividly remember Tomorrow Never Dies x Titanic. We organized after school watches of both. We did Bond first tho. Titanic was in the next theater and we made fun of the people who picked Titanic over bond. But then of course we watched Titanic and realized it was an all time masterpiece. The buzz on Titanic before it came out was terrible tho. That it was overblown disaster. Everyone was laughing. We weren't snobs about it, it was the vibe. Quickly we realized they knew exactly what they were doing and we'd be watching this on repeat forever.
Anora’s Yura Borisov (one of the massive highlights of the film) speaks to Interview Magazine.
WATCH: Cooper Hoffman embodying his father. [Twitter]
Jack Nicholson on watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Twin Peaks tiles for sale. I got mine. I visited the Rebers in 2017, was one of the best days of my life. Nicest people. They’re the ones in the final scene. We hung out and talked Twin Peaks for hours. They invited me to stay and return to watch the finale, but my grandfather died right before and I stayed in NYC. I buried something in the woods for him at the spot where Laura buried her necklace. The Rebers are the nicest and if anyone is a fan, I highly encourage you to go out there. I can intro you to people for tours too.
Top 10 sales from the Prop Store auction in London.
READ: Cormac McCarthy’s Secret Muse Breaks Her Silence After Half a Century [Vanity Fair] Lots of people clowning on this article.
Joker: Folie à Deux sound team talks designing the film.
Has Fashion’s Convergence With Sports Gone Too Far—yes…
GLADIATOR II CONT.
Too many closeups. It’s like they had two modes of production. ECU famous actor talking. Wide shot famous actor on green screen stage to be replaced by a screensaver later. There’s this great YouTube video that compares Lynch Dune to Denis Dune, where it’s all about scale. Cut from face to sand worm, and the face is the same size as the sand worm, doesn’t impact. Put a human in same frame as a sandworm and show how much bigger the sandworm is, and it’s epic. New Gladiator makes the Colosseum look small. It’s really weird. And the talkings scenes lose all gravitas without mise en scene. It’s kinda like Solo, where it feels they shot these shot-reverse-shot dialogue scenes on separate days. There’s no tension, no cinematic quality to the talking, and there’s a lot of talking. Every single line of dialogue is essentially shot in the same way, so nothing is emphasized. We just take it in for 2.5 hours and decide for ourselves when we want to pay attention or not. With quota required action scene breaks every 10 or so minutes.
Paul Mescal is no Mel Gibson. I swore I thought the guy he fought when he first meets the Emperors was Mel Gibson. He has that grey beard and is walking stocky like I think Mel walks at this point. That would have been epic if they just surprise cast Mel to play one scene and not even make a big deal out of the cameo. Oh my god it’d have immediately made this movie a classic. Anyway though. Mescal isn’t doing Russell Crowe in this movie, I assume Ridley told him to go elsewhere. This is absolutely a 90s Mel Gibson inspired performance. But he just isn’t Mel. Nobody is. We don’t make em like that anymore sadly. Or we do, but we don’t cast em like that anymore. The guys who could’ve pulled this off aren’t popular enough.
Speaking of guys who are popular enough, and carry gravitas…this movie has Denzel Washington in it. And he’s in the movie A LOT. Yet they somehow don’t manage to give him one quotable line. Ridiculous. Denzel for best supporting actor? It’s not like we need to give him an award for previous slights, he’s won it before, and he’ll win it again. Is the competition really that dry this year? They just don’t want to give it to Jeremy Strong? I don’t understand. Please, Yura Borisov if not Jeremy Strong. Do not make us see a Kieran Culkin acceptance speech. I’d give Fred Hechinger the award before Denzel, again, not because Denzel isn’t great, there’s just no reason to give him anything for this. They just pad the movie with tooooonnnnssss of Denzel screen time. But he doesn’t really do anything. He just…is. Hechinger inhabits his character to such otherworldly impact, he’s so much fun. He embarrasses Joseph Quinn, it’s the ultimate NY vs. LA interpretation. Quinn is all hopped up on Netflix and agents and Canon Drive and meetings and meetings and meetings. God I can just sense how much this guy probably talks about meetings he takes. Meanwhile, Hechinger is a total fish out of water NYC kid, mildly famous for being the masturbating little brother to Sydney Sweeney and the best grandson to June Squibb. Quinn takes himself soooo seriously, thinks he’s in actual Shakespeare or something. Hechinger knows EXACTLY what movie he is in, he’s the only one there who knows, and he runs circles around everyone. He’s wonderful. Oh wow, I forgot Pedro Pascal is in this movie. You can literally eliminate him entirely and the movie is the same. What a strange strange thing 2024 Hollywood is. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Derek Jacobi coming back looking EXACTLY the same 24 years later is wild. Did they CGI him? I mean, it wouldn’t make sense, because he’s meant to have aged. But he looked 86 in 2000’s OG Gladiator and he looks exactly the same today. Would’ve been cool if we could have David Hemmings, Oliver Reed and Richard Harris still. :(
It was really nice to give Connie Britton so much to do in this movie. Rare a lesser movie star woman of her age gets to have an arc like this. She’s kinda cliched in the pathos category, but still appreciate how she gets to play a mother, a politician, and a lover and not pretend she hasn’t aged.
Overall, thrilled Ridley is doing these things, not only because he’s earned the right. He’s always a good script away from making a great movie. He nailed Prometheus, still one of the most thought provoking movies of all time, and considering it links 40 years of storytelling, even better. So I'll sign up for Ridley doing these as long as he wants to. Even if his hit rate is 10%. He makes one or two a year, and he’s super healthy, so whatever, let him do what he wants. If he delivers one or two more masterpieces, I’ll watch ten more mediocre ones like this. I don’t hate these movies. Same with Napoleon and the Matt Damon Ben Affleck one, whatever it was called. They’re not the worst movies. They just behave like they’re epic and excellent, but are not. So you naturally get really bored. But he goes for it every time. And sometimes he hits the target. And he lets Denis have Blade Runner when he knows there’s someone who will do better. I’m team Ridley even though this movie sucks.
